Let me ask you, do you find it difficult to get along with others? Do you see only flaws and ignorance in others? Do you find most people annoying? if you are often at odds with other people, there’s a chance you’re in a very bad environment. But it can be due to your own wrongdoing.
Why is that?
If all you see is ignorance and stupidity in others. You have to make sure that some of those are not your own. It’s true that some people are bad and impossible to deal with. It’s also true that we tend to project our own flaws onto others and assign labels.
However, you’re lucky there are things you can do to get along with others. For the sake of understanding, I’ll divide things you need to do into practical and psychological. To see which practical things you can do right away click here.
The 4 points we’re gonna start with can help you on a psychological level.
1. Stop projecting bad things onto others
Usually means that you didn’t do introspection. You failed to objectively look at yourself and recognize your weaknesses. All of us have flaws, wounds that we need to heal, and things that drag us down. In order to improve, to put yourself together you need to recognize your weak spots first. If you feel like you don’t have anything to work on, that means that you’re not aware of your issues. Since there isn’t a single person that doesn’t have any room left for improvement. So start uncovering and fix what you can.
2. Keep in mind that we’re different but the same
Although we seem very different, we’re also the same. I’m not talking about personality types, lifestyles, and social status. Take into consideration that as a species we share the same biological constitution. Also, we share a set of basic emotions (sadness, happiness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger). We’re all social beings, we need other people. We also have some innate traits (curiosity and ability to speak, which sets us apart from animals).
That means that we have a lot more in common than meets the eye. We have a common response to some threats. For example, we all have innate fears of predators, pain, heights, and rapidly approaching objects. When you open your mind to that fact, you may rather see a seemingly annoying person as afraid, anxious, and in need of help. Rather than someone who’s mean to you and is going after you because they don’t like you. When you look for things that connect you with other people, rather than things that set you apart. Your life becomes much easier. If you want to know how to change who you are, click here.
3. Not knowing your self makes you hate others
Our attitude and behavior are a byproduct of the distance between who we are and who we want to be. The bigger the gap between where we’re now and where we want to be. The bigger discontent. And vice versa.
When you become aware of this, it’s a lot harder to judge others on the premises of their current state. This doesn’t mean that you should tolerate unacceptable behavior. It’s meant to help you comprehend what’s going on on a deeper level. This can help you get better connections, personally and professionally. And gain a better understanding of the people you interact with.
4. Imperfect is kinda perfect
The funny thing is when you’re willing to express and acknowledge your imperfection you become more relatable and likable. Because nobody is perfect, everybody can relate to an imperfection. It’s a big relief to see that other people have the same issues, and worries as you do and that you’re not alone. Accepting your imperfection makes your life more meaningful. It brings you closer to others.
Practical tips to get along with others
When you get things clear in your head. Then it’s a good time to change how you act. It’s simple but makes a lot of difference. Some things you can do right away are:
- Learn how to listen – most people don’t listen at all, they wait for their turn to reply (talk about themselves)
- Show some interest in other people’s lives – don’t talk about yourself all the time. Listen to what others have to say, you can learn something new. You already know what you know.
- Be positive and supportive – nobody likes negative people. Try to offer support and help when you can. Nobody’s reluctant to have proactive people in their life who are willing to improve things and support others.
- Don’t judge – there is nothing to add here, nobody likes being judged. So don’t do it.
- Don’t get offended – if you get triggered and offended easily. Nobody’s gonna like you. You need to learn not to take things personally especially if it’s not related to you personally.